“I thought your door was automatic so I was waiting outside for like 5 minutes for it to open and I was like what’s goin on??”
…ok so you mean to say that you were waiting for 2 hinged doors with handles on them that look nothing like the automatic doors to open for you. That makes total sense.
Thanks for returning it in the condition it was originally bought. Someone is definitely going to want to re-buy it looking like it was mauled by a bear.
“Well the one by my house has it.” or “The one in _______ has it.”
…so why did you come to this one smarty pants?
In all fairness, the general public doesn’t seem know that the hardware store we work in is independently owned and operated (same for all the hardware stores like ours nation wide) and not part of a coorporate office. We can cut you a little slack on this one. But still, why wouldn’t you just go to the one by your house, or the one where you know you can for sure find it in the first place? We don’t understand your thought process here.
Here’s one that happens all too often, and most people who do this really deserve a high five…in the face.
“Can I get a bag for that”
…but you have 1 item…and it’s a roll of tape. Would you also like help out with that since it’s clearly too much for you to handle? Get out!
“Oh my gosh you would not believe how hard it’s been for me to find this furnace filter. Wal-Mart doesn’t have them any more, so I thought I couldn’t get them any more. I’m so happy you have them, but you know you should really put them up front here so people see them or they would never know where to look. I’m sure the Wal-Mart people will be coming down here now for them, so you should really put them out where they can find them.”
…As much as we appreciate customer feed-back (NOT), there are 2 problems with this one. A) we don’t have any open positions for a marketing leader currently or ever and B) we definitely don’t want the Wal-Mart people making their way down here any time soon, so what I’m hearing is that we should make them even more hidden. Thanks though, you’ve been super helpful.
Us: “Would you like a bag for that?”
Customer: “No I got one at home HA HA HA.”
…ya, I’m sure your wife is laughing as hard as you are at home right now too. Go home.
“I want one that’s straight, no knots, and clear.”
…well go back in and pay for lumber that isn’t the cheapest we sell, and then we can maybe talk about better quality you crazy nut!
“To a lock.”
-When we ask customers what their key goes to.
…No shit Sherlock! But is it a house deadbolt? A padlock? A car lock? These details matter. Use your critical thinking skills next time, if you have any.
“Do you have anything that will soften this caulk?”
…you may want to see a doctor about that. Or maybe use a silicone based caulk remover. Your choice.
“Do you think this caulk will work?”
…you tell me, pal.
